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Do you have Dating Resolve?

By Amy Schoen

My client, Daniel was looking to meet someone for marriage when he met Sarah after searching on a popular internet dating site for about six months with little real success. He was very smitten with here and she seemed just what he was looking for. As the relationship continued on, Daniel realized that Sarah did not behave in a manner that led him to believe that she truly wanted to settle down. He had no choice but to break up with her.

Although he was very hurt and disappointed, Daniel stayed focused on his goal of meeting a marriage partner and having the family he desired. So he took a deep breadth and plunged back into the internet dating scene. A couple of months went by and no one he met interested him. Finally he met Lynn.

Lynn was on the same page as Daniel and wanted the same things out of life. Within three months they were engaged, and married within six months. It was Daniel’s resolve that kept him on track towards meeting Lynn. Imagine if he had given up after Sarah and felt sorry for himself? He would never have met Lynn.

Where are you in the dating merry-go-round? Have you taken yourself off? How do you plan on meeting anyone if you never put yourself out there to meet people to date whether it is by the internet, through friends or other intellectual, cultural or sports activities?

You need some resolve to keep going and not give up. You don’t have to go it alone. It’s helpful to have a support system to help keep you going when you really don’t feel like it. Just like a personal trainer encourages his clients to do more reps and to add more weight to the clients’ workout regimen. This person may be a good friend, a relative or a coach/counselor.

Ruth told me she was taking herself off of a popular internet dating site that she was on for over three years. She was fed up with the whole scene and began to feel that internet dating was futile. Then, Dennis contacted Ruth. It was love at first reading of the profile! They just clicked right away and knew this was it as soon as they met. They are married now.

What if she took herself off that dating site a month earlier? She would not have met Dennis.

I myself was a member of a biking group that I went to regularly. Some of my girlfriends complained that they saw the same old faces at this group. I was always trying to keep the positive perspective that new men were always coming to the biking group. Finally, I did meet my husband when he showed up to the group after breaking up with his last girlfriend. He was a fresh face.

What if I stopped going to the group activities because I was convinced that there were no new guys? I would never have met my husband. It took resolve to keep going and putting myself out there to meet suitable men to date.

So how are you looking at dating right now? How would you access your energy level towards this endeavor? If it’s low, what do you need to do to boost it? What do you need to keep up your resolve? Because you never know, the next person you meet could be Mr. or Ms. Right! Where does this resolve come from?

Resolve is the clear desire to reach your goal no matter how long it takes you. It’s being resourceful and refining your dating process. It’s about finding the people who can be supportive of your efforts. It’s also having a belief in yourself that you will attain your sought after goal because of your focus and determination to do whatever it takes to find your life partner. That’s resolve!
 

Amy Schoen, MBA, CPCC is a certified professional life coach and dating-relationship expert who specializes in helping singles to attract the right romantic relationship into their lives and couples to create the most fulfilling relationship of their dreams with a values-oriented whole life coaching. She is the author of “Motivated to Marry™-Now There is a Better Method for Dating and Relationships!” and speaks nationally to groups on the topic of dating and relationships” Amy is also a contributing author to “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life” from SelfGrowth.com, that features well-known authors such as John Gray and Jack Canfield. For down to earth tips and helpful hints, you can subscribe to her popular monthly ezine and tele-classes at: www.heartmindconnection.com. 

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