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ROMANTIC SIMPLICITY

By Kathy Dawson

We ascribe beauty to that which is simple; which has no superfluous parts; which exactly answers its end; which stands related to all things; which is the mean of many extremes.
                                                                        Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you’re like most people, you’d love to be romantic, but you think you don’t have the time, money, or creativity. The idea of romancing your mate can be very intimidating, especially if you think that in order to do so, you have to whisk your partner away to some exotic island or hire a limousine to escort you and your mate to a five star restaurant.

Because any romantic gesture carries the message, “You make a difference in my life, so I want to make a difference in yours,” the size of your gesture is irrelevant. What makes a romantic gesture romantic is the simple act of doing it.

I knew a woman whose husband was romantically challenged. This poor lady was starving for something…anything that hinted of romance in her relationship. She was tired of always being the one to send flowers, make romantic candlelit dinners, and stock up on greeting cards.

One morning she realized her single-handed efforts were beginning to pay off. As usual, she awoke after her husband had left for work and shuffled into the bathroom to start her morning routine. There before her was the surprise of her life. Her husband, who she thought didn’t have a romantic blood cell in his body, had dumped everything out of her make-up bag and made an “I love you” message out of her lipstick, mascara, brushes, eyeliner, and compact cases. Spread across the bathroom counter was the letter “I”, a heart with an arrow through it, and the letter “U.” She was so thrilled with his romantic overture that she grabbed her camera and took a picture of it.

Knowing what I do for a living, she sent me a photo of her husband’s display of romance. I now take this photo with me whenever I lecture on romance in order to show people how a simple gesture that took little time and cost nothing made a big enough impact on someone to actually take a photograph of it!

Romance doesn’t have to be an extravaganza. A simple romantic gesture, as well as an expensive, time-consuming one relays the same message: you make a difference in my life. If romance is a challenge for you, face it with simplicity.
 

Just Do It: Don’t let romance intimidate you. Once this week do something simple - the simpler the better - to prove to your mate that he or she makes a difference in your life.
 

As an experienced Relationship Coach and Speaker, Kathy has impacted thousands of lives through her national and local television and radio appearances, as well as her books and speaking engagements. Her first book, Diagnosis: Married – How to Deal with Marital Conflict, Heal Your Relationship, and Create a Rewarding and Fulfilling Marriage (Penguin Putnam/Perigee, 2000) was nominated for a Books for a Better Life award. Kathy’s second book, Cleveland Couples – 40 Inspiring Stories of Love & Commitment (Gray & Company, Publishers) was published in 2004. As well as books, Kathy has written a weekly relationship column called Side By Side for Cleveland’s Plain Dealer. Kathy is a guest expert on ivillage.com and has been featured in such national magazines as Family Circle and Women’s World. Kathy’s website is www.kathythecoach.com. 
 

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